Thursday, November 20, 2008

Please do NOT threaten to serial kill me.

You would think that a change of venue would help aid NK, Kim, and I in our quest for a normal evening out. A normal evening out away from the douchebags of East Andrews (read about our unfortunate d-bag encounter below). Sadly, this is not the case. Even in Midtown (the one place in Atlanta where a girl should feel sheltered from the inane pick-up attempts from the opposite sex - well... okay maybe not), we attract total nutjobs.

Like, this guy, seen pictured below. Oh yes, he is indeed wearing a jean jacket, shorts, and mandals.* What you can't see? His perfectly coifed hair.

What you also can't see is his poorly executed pick up line. Which went a little something like this: "I have an idea. The three of you can come back with me to my place. I'll get you naked. I'll wrap you all up in saran wrap - don't worry I'll poke holes so you can breathe - and we'll all have a good time. Sound good?"Um. No, Ted Bundy, we would not like you to serial kill us.

Now, upon further investigation (as in me texting seventy million people regarding this incident), it has been brought to my attention that it's a movie quote. Oh! Happy day! It's a movie quote. A movie quote from "The Break-up," which in case you have forgotten (and you probably have) is one of Vince Vaughan's crappier movies. But a movie quote - well that makes it all better! No. Actually... it doesn't. I'm all for quoting movies, but pick something a tad bit romantic, okay? I mean, maybe something from "Hope Floats," "Notting Hill," or something else starring Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts (oh, but don't call me a prostitute. Probably a bad idea). Hell, quote the "Spongebob Squarepants" movie for all I care. But saran wrap? I mean, what in the H-e-double hockey sticks are you trying to pull here, jeanjacketmandalsshortsman?

*Note: Mandals, or sandals for men, are right up there with jean shorts. I mean, unless you are a greek philosopher, a roman soldier, or Jesus himself, as a man you should never ever wear sandals.


Yeti said... should probably make sure the girls you are trying to pick up on know it is a movie quote. ALTHOUGH, if that is his "weeding-out" is kind of brilliant :)

JD said...

Haha! True... but it's not like it was Wedding Crashers or something... !

Bon Don said...

Who wears those shoes "out"?? Honestly!