Friday, July 1, 2011

Celebrate Your Independence


YOU: Hey! I'll buy you a star-spangled cocktail of your choice if you can tell me what a rampart is?
NEW FRIEND: A fortification usually constructed from a mound of dirt?!?
YOU: Holy cow! If Francis Scott Key were here, he'd surely invite you to his plantation for mint juleps.  How about my apartment for boxed wine?

Thanks to the Friday Dance  for this gem

Thursday, June 30, 2011

It's A Guy/Girl Thing

Guy: hey, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: sure
Guy: Well, I was going to tell you one about my dick, but it's too long (laugh).
Girl: and then maybe I'd tell you one about my pussy, but you'd never get up.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The curse of the January 4, 1969 birthdate

Woman at bar: "I can't figure our why all these guys keep sending me lewd messages on!"
Her friend: "Maybe it's your screen name?"

Woman at bar: "But it's just my name and birthdate...!"
Her friend:" Jennifer1469?"


Friday, June 24, 2011


#WorstPickUpLines is trending on Twitter. Oh the gold mine...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

What's your sign?

Um... I'm not sure anymore.

Astrologers now say that your zodiac sign may not be what you think.

How will this affect the classic pick up line? Does it really matter?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Got a new pick up line for ya...

"Hi I'm getting ur number by the end of the night,

it may be a fake one 

but I'm still getting it."

Friday, October 1, 2010

wait... what??

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Yes. 

Guy: Want another one?

Girl: No.

Guy: Yeah... me neither.