go see the movie role models!

girl, you're sexy like a chocolate strawberry

santa, baby

When out on a Santa Pub Crawl and everyone is dressed as Santa, it's not original to ask a girl if she's been "naughty or nice." It's been done. And no, I don't want to play any reindeer games.

Take a Hint

If I don't return your text right away, you don't need to text me 4 more times. Give me like, at least a day to reply. Especially if said texts are during work hours. Also, if you DO text 4 more times and call again within 2 hours, I will probably lose any desire I had to text you back or pick up my phone. Actually, I WILL lose all desire to text you back or pick up my phone.

Furthermore, if you decide to call AGAIN two hours later and that would surely not ever happen, right? and I STILL don't respond, don't text me and call me ever again. Certainly not 4 more times in the next two days. Also, if I politely rebuff your request for a date after these 72 hours of overzealous texting/phone calling/me ignoring you, take a hint. Probably just not that into you. Could be I'm not over an ex, I don't feel like dating right now, I am having a fat day, or oh, I don't know, you scared the crap out of me with you psychoness.

Last, I'll say this. No, it's not my loss. Unless by "loss" you mean it's me dodging a freakin' bullet.

Not that this has ever happened to me before... just some friendly advice.

You look like my sister

Click here to read what NOT to say in a Starbucks...

"What's a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name is Matt."

- Some guy (apparently named Matt) at Sharkeez in Manhattan Beach, CA