wait... what??

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Yes. 

Guy: Want another one?

Girl: No.

Guy: Yeah... me neither. 

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE FROM LONDON!!!

Normally accents make people hot. When a British accent isn't enough, quote Monty Python. Inccessantly. I don't think British people like this very much.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!!!!

i wanna get hit by a car

hey dude... you pointing at me and saying "YOU! I wanna go home with her!!" as you cross the street from one bar to another is not going to get you a girl. It's going to get you hit by a car.

Idiot!!!

And P to the S... why do guys think pointing at you is an acceptable pick up line??? Like, OMG! I'm it! He picked me!!! Um. No. I'm not a lobster in a tank, guy. 

"Yeah, I'll take that 125 lb one in the right hand corner.

just keep swimming, guy

Today, let's talk about THIS guy.

because he's THAT guy

THAT guy: You girls want to come back to my place to go swimming?

US: No.

THAT guy: Beautiful views of the city, roof top pool. It's soo cool. I'm sooo cool! 

US: No.

THAT guy: C'mon, girls. Don't you like swimming? It'll be fun.

US: No. 

THAT guy: Like I said, it's got a great view of the city. On the rooftop. I'm not rich by any means, it's not my place, but it's cool. 

ME: Wait, you're NOT rich?

THAT guy: Is that the kind of girl you are? Only into rich guys?

ME: Yep.* What kind of car do you drive?

THAT guy: Yeah, good luck with that. and then under his breath... Shallow bitch.

And that, my friends, is how to get rid of a creepy loser. 

*No, we're not really this shallow, but we had to get rid of him somehow... 

Watch-a doing?

Guy in bar grabs girl's wrist tenderly of course. 

"I love your watch! Is that a Rolex?" He asks her.

"Um. No. It's a FOSSIL." She replies. 

Not. A. Rolex.

You're Married? Well then Eff you!

How not to pick up a married chick. 

I ain't no hollaback girl

Girl, I've been wanting to holla' at you all night. 

What the hell am I? A pig?

 Soooieeeee!!!!