What's your sign?

Um... I'm not sure anymore.

Astrologers now say that your zodiac sign may not be what you think.

How will this affect the classic pick up line? Does it really matter?

Got a new pick up line for ya...

"Hi I'm getting ur number by the end of the night,

it may be a fake one 

but I'm still getting it."

wait... what??

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Yes. 

Guy: Want another one?

Girl: No.

Guy: Yeah... me neither. 

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE FROM LONDON!!!

Normally accents make people hot. When a British accent isn't enough, quote Monty Python. Inccessantly. I don't think British people like this very much.

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!!!!

i wanna get hit by a car

hey dude... you pointing at me and saying "YOU! I wanna go home with her!!" as you cross the street from one bar to another is not going to get you a girl. It's going to get you hit by a car.

Idiot!!!

And P to the S... why do guys think pointing at you is an acceptable pick up line??? Like, OMG! I'm it! He picked me!!! Um. No. I'm not a lobster in a tank, guy. 

"Yeah, I'll take that 125 lb one in the right hand corner.

just keep swimming, guy

Today, let's talk about THIS guy.

because he's THAT guy

THAT guy: You girls want to come back to my place to go swimming?

US: No.

THAT guy: Beautiful views of the city, roof top pool. It's soo cool. I'm sooo cool! 

US: No.

THAT guy: C'mon, girls. Don't you like swimming? It'll be fun.

US: No. 

THAT guy: Like I said, it's got a great view of the city. On the rooftop. I'm not rich by any means, it's not my place, but it's cool. 

ME: Wait, you're NOT rich?

THAT guy: Is that the kind of girl you are? Only into rich guys?

ME: Yep.* What kind of car do you drive?

THAT guy: Yeah, good luck with that. and then under his breath... Shallow bitch.

And that, my friends, is how to get rid of a creepy loser. 

*No, we're not really this shallow, but we had to get rid of him somehow... 

Watch-a doing?

Guy in bar grabs girl's wrist tenderly of course. 

"I love your watch! Is that a Rolex?" He asks her.

"Um. No. It's a FOSSIL." She replies. 

Not. A. Rolex.