Celebrate Your Independence

FRIDAY NIGHT ICE-BREAKER:
YOU: Hey! I'll buy you a star-spangled cocktail of your choice if you can tell me what a rampart is? NEW FRIEND: A fortification usually constructed from a mound of dirt?!? YOU: Holy cow! If Francis Scott Key were here, he'd surely invite you to his plantation for mint juleps.  How about my apartment for boxed wine? Thanks to the Friday Dance  for this gem

It's A Guy/Girl Thing

Guy: hey, can I tell you a joke?

Girl: sure

Guy: Well, I was going to tell you one about my dick, but it's too long (laugh).

Girl: and then maybe I'd tell you one about my pussy, but you'd never get up.

The curse of the January 4, 1969 birthdate

Woman at bar: "I can't figure our why all these guys keep sending me lewd messages on Match.com!"

Her friend: "Maybe it's your screen name?"

Woman at bar: "But it's just my name and birthdate...!"

Her friend:" Jennifer1469?"

Oh. 

#WorstPickUpLines

#WorstPickUpLines is trending on Twitter. Oh the gold mine...

What's your sign?

Um... I'm not sure anymore.

Astrologers now say that your zodiac sign may not be what you think.

How will this affect the classic pick up line? Does it really matter?

Got a new pick up line for ya...

"Hi I'm getting ur number by the end of the night,

it may be a fake one 

but I'm still getting it."

wait... what??

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Yes. 

Guy: Want another one?

Girl: No.

Guy: Yeah... me neither.